Wedding Season in India

With global warming, every part of the world complains about the irregular onset of each season, but the wedding season in India is always on time. With the pandemic, many weddings were postponed in the past two years and this past Dec of 2022 and Jan of 2023 there were too many scheduled weddings even within our family and among close friends. One of those weddings was for my husband’s niece and another was for my nephew. What a perfect way to catch up with family and extended family from both sides.

With enough enthusiasm, we packed our bags filled with excitement to board the long flight to India. No doubt anxieties travel with you too. Post-pandemic we keep hearing about cases of covid and different viruses making the rounds. But I have faith in God and left all my worries with Him. Sitting on the flight I started painting imagery that we will have a memorable trip meeting family and friends and enjoying weddings. With the thought of yummy sweets and street food that I don’t get in this foreign land, my mouth started drooling. Geared with excitement, the long flight didn’t feel boring at all.

We traveled with Swiss Air and had a short layover in Zurich. We quickly got refreshed in the lounge, a privilege business-class travelers got to enjoy. Tossing and turning I could not sleep that well on my first flight but my husband happily snored. He has been working crazy hours the past few days and it was a much needed break for him. On the second flight though I could dose off for a few hours and Woke up feeling rested. In the cabin, the lights were still turned off as many passengers were still sleeping. So I thought it was a perfect time to do meditation followed by carefully jotting down a detailed itinerary in my journal.

So I made a list of people whom I wish to meet along with my family. My journey with writing has opened a different highway altogether and I had plans to take the detour to meet many accomplished authors in Odisha. I was an unknown identity to them but I was very much hoping to find my path to meet them. I was successful to a great extent. Anyway, you will find it in a separate blog. Here I am to share the most exciting part of our recent trip to India which is to be there during the wedding season.

Reaching our hometown takes two full days from Boston. We landed in Delhi past midnight. Since the flight to Bhubaneswar was the next morning we checked into a hotel in Aerocity for the night. Luxury hotels and their services are at a different level in India that we often miss in the US. Aerocity is a newly developed area in Delhi that attracts international travelers. Our days preceding travel were so hectic that despite excitement all we could think of was to take a good shower and crash. It was a refreshing morning after a hearty Indian breakfast. Before heading to the airport we could feel the onset of the wedding season already. A bunch of people wearing color-coordinated pretty yellow outfits walking around in the lobby, hallways, and the courtyard made us realize there must be a haldi ceremony for an Indian wedding going on in the same hotel. We could already feel the spirit of celebration in the air.

On our way to the airport, the taxi driver rolled down the window and we enjoyed the fairly warm air In Delhi while watching the greenery on both sides of the road.

As we reached the terminal for a domestic flight, the unthinkable crowd gave us a sense of how the economy has boomed in past years. Buying power has gone up and people probably realize the value of time. It is a welcoming change for the country but the infrastructure is not changed at the same speed to accommodate them. So we could still feel the crowd and people’s mentality of cutting lines. Anyway, with the excitement, none of the inconveniences bothered us.

Wedding 1:

After reaching Bhubaneswar we dropped one piece of luggage at the rental place we are supposed to stay at during the later part of our trip and drove to Berhampur, our hometown. It was about three and a half hours' drive on the highway. It was not cold at all but I could tell there had been no rain for many months as the roadside trees looked brown with a thick coat of dust. I didn’t see a blue sky throughout my stay in Berhampur which also meant the dust level in the air was very high. No matter what, the familiar pastoral landscape brings nostalgic memories. All our relatives were equally excited and eagerly waiting for us. We stayed up late into the night catching up with everyone, eating, chitchatting, and planning the logistics for the upcoming rituals.

The first wedding was for my husband’s niece (sister’s daughter). This wedding was a mixture of traditional with modern elements. On the first day, all relatives and close friends gathered to begin the auspicious puja to the Istha Devi, seeking her blessings, followed by a visit to the nearest Parvati temple. After that, a fun ritual took place where all married women applied turmeric paste on the bride and also played with applying it to each

other. Turmeric has always been considered auspicious in Indian culture. But nowadays applying henna designs on the hands and feet has become a part of the celebration too. It is more of a northern culture from India that slowly assimilated into all other parts of India. As long as it adds to the joy of being together then why not? The afternoon ended with a hearty feast planned for all attendees in the courtyard. On the same night, we all checked into a hotel, Mayfair Palm Beach Resort, near the Gopalpur seaport where the wedding was scheduled for the following day.

The hotel offered a beautiful tropical garden leading to the wedding mandap. It was a beautiful afternoon with the coastal breeze. It was humid as expected. The mandap was overlooking the ocean where waves were crashing on the shore in a rhythmic pattern. The wedding was performed following all the traditional rituals of Odisha and the afternoon was filled with shankha (blowing conch) and hulahuli dhwani (sound produced by moving the tongue rapidly in an open mouth) every now and then during the wedding. My husband and I had a small role to play being the mamun and mayeen to the bride. In the evening more guests joined for a grand reception planned on the lawn to bless the newlyweds. It was a beautiful celebration of two families coming together to start a new beginning.

The following day we gave company to the bride and a few other extended family members along with the groom's side family on an overnight train journey to send them off and join the reception for the groom's side family in Bhilai. We drove back to Bhubaneswar and stopped by our rental property to shuffle our luggage to carry as little as we could.

Since my husband and I took the train after almost 25yrs we both felt handicapped by the crowd to maneuver our pieces of luggage. But other relatives and the groom’s family and friends were very helpful in every step. Once we all settled in our respective berths everyone was moving around to make conversations.

The journey was filled with waves of laughter over many things which made the journey memorable. Except for the use of washrooms in the train, the Indian railway has come a long way to provide comfort to passengers. We took part in bidai, and chauthi homa which were another set of rituals that needed to be performed before the newlyweds officially lived together.

The following day groom's family had planned a grand reception with a widespread buffet menu. We said farewell at night as we had to leave early in the morning for the next destination Udaipur, Rajasthan.

Wedding 2:

This time it was my nephew’s (cousin's son) wedding. It was purely a destination wedding. The groom’s family lives in Mumbai and the bride’s family in Kolkatta and both of them live in Boston, where I live. My husband and I had to travel from Bhilai to Raipur by road and took a flight from there to Delhi and stayed for the night in a nice hotel. Since we landed in India we were constantly traveling, packing, and unpacking. So it was time to rest our bodies a little. In the early evening, we had a nice meal at an outdoor restaurant in the Aerocity. The next day we boarded the flight for Udaipur, Rajasthan early in the morning.

When we landed in Udaipur the event planners had already booked a taxi to pick us up. The hotel was an hour away from the airport. Fatehgarh palace, a popular wedding venue built in the style of a palace, was located on top of the hill. This wedding was more of a blend of Indo-western style. Many guests were from the US. All the planned events were scheduled over two and a half days.

So on the first evening, a tilak ceremony was planned between two families welcoming each other for the wedding of their children. This was also an opportunity for the rest of the guests to mingle around and get to know each other. It was nice to meet my sister and cousins and their children after a long time. The next day the terrace courtyard was beautifully decorated for the Haldi and mehendi ceremony. It was Lovely decor with a natural mountain backdrop. Music, dance, and applying haldi by everyone not only to bride and groom but also exchanging between relatives and friends marked the official beginning of the wedding rituals.

Everyone present showered flowers on the bride and groom as a gesture of blessings. That late afternoon my elder daughter, Megha, joined us. She had a little rough traveling experience with missing connecting flight but I am glad she reached safely to the venue. On the same night, there was a beautiful stage set on the lower terrace for the sangeet ceremony. Many dances were performed by friends and cousins to the bride and groom. It was a fun-filled musical

evening. This is the third event that ended with dancing. I was now looking forward to the next day of the actual wedding. The mandap was beautifully decorated in the inner courtyard surrounded by all our rooms. The gorgeous decor looked very grand and at the same time very homely. At the outer

courtyard, both parties gathered for tying pagadi and gathered at the entrance of the hotel for barat. A ghodi, female horse, was decorated for the groom to ride. Drum players added the rhythm to our feet for dancing again. After an hour of dancing and moving inch by inch, we made it to the gate where the bride's side of the family was waiting to receive us. Along with

that, the wedding ritual started at the mandap and continued for a few hours. The air was filled with the sound of conch blowing and hulahuli dhwani ( this is more common in Odisha and Bengal). I am sure it is a sheer mark of excitement or to ward off the evil spirit during a happy occasion. Anyway, it was a joyous occasion for the family.

Everyone dismantled after the wedding again to gather at the night for the reception. The reception included more western elements of speeches by key family and friends and cake cutting, the first dance by bride and groom and followed by everyone joining

on the floor to celebrate and conclude the celebration. It was a bit chilly being located at the mountain top and open air but the happy mood in the air seized the day.

The following day all guests dispersed depending on their own destination. Overall, a wonderful experience that left us in awe and we couldn't stop praising the meticulous planning and execution done by Ruchita and her event planning team.

Wedding 3:

After attending two weddings one after the other we needed a little break for sure. Luckily the next one was scheduled after two weeks which gave us plenty of time to do other plans on our agenda and spend some quality time with immediate family. Then we were ready

again for the glitz and glam of wedding parties. This time it was the wedding of a dear friend’s son. They live in Boston and the bride’s family too. So many guests from both sides traveled to Bhubaneswar for the wedding. Their local families

could join and take part in the celebration. This was also a big fat wedding by every standard. All four events, haldi, mehendi, sangeet, wedding, and reception are planned at different five-star hotels in the city which added a little challenge with logistics but didn't dampen our spirit. The arrangements were

very similar to the wedding in Udaipur except here more guests were invited given it was not fully a destination wedding. Since my younger one missed the first two weddings she wished to enjoy them fully. Also, many family friends from Boston

and their children had joined, so both my daughters looked forward to being on their dancing toes. Ceremonies took four days with one day in between for a break. Meeting friends after a long time over music,

food, and dance was totally fun. Since all four of us could attend this wedding we got to click more colorful pictures here for our personal memory.

Wedding 4:

It was towards the end of our trip we had the last wedding to attend. This was my dear friend’s son’s wedding. No doubt I am very close to him but I did not know many of his relatives nor did we know many of his invitees. But we had planned out tickets to attend anyway. This wedding was more

traditional, similar to the first one. The only difference was the add-on sangeet function. All four of us could attend. It was less of a fanfare affair than the previous two weddings. It was nice for us to mingle with his family to break the ice. On the day of the wedding, Neha headed back to the US and we had many other last-minute packing and meetings on our plate. That added a little challenge to our plan. While Bhaskar and Megha skipped I kept my promise and joined the barat. I must admit that I felt a little out of place in the beginning but his family members made sure I was included in all the fun. It is always nice to see the traditions survive through centuries.

Takeaways from the wedding season:

Weddings are decided according to the lunar calendar in India. Within the given month the auspicious date for each wedding may vary and not necessarily fall on an official holiday. During our stay, we witnessed many wedding ceremonies happening no matter which state or city we were in.

The last time we had attended a wedding in India was in the summer of 1997. Two and half decades is a long time to forget all the fun that takes place during a wedding season. And now weddings take place on a whole different level. For those who can afford to have a wedding planner, for them, weddings are more like a Bollywood show. Except for choosing an auspicious date for the wedding according to the horoscope, the rest of the events have integrated multicultural elements into them. A huge budget is diverted toward decor which was not the case earlier. However, food was always the priority. Haldi ceremony used to be a small function within the family but now has become a grand one. Mehendi, sangeet, dance at the reception, cake cutting, etc are completely borrowed elements but are now almost woven into weddings from every part of India. The food menu felt almost the same at all four weddings with slight variations. I would have loved to have the choice of more local food specific to the location. Given so many events are added to one wedding, it is a platform for showcasing fashion and glamor not only for the host family but for the guests as well. The role of event planners is crucial in such grand weddings. They create the flow chart and break it down by hours for each event to make life easy for the guests. The details even include the choice of colors for you for a given event. No doubt it was very helpful to make picture-perfect memories, but for us, it was an arduous job living out of a suitcase for the whole wedding season in India.

The weddings always lasted over a few days of rituals even in the past but that used to be only within the immediate family performing rituals that are practiced in the region. Now, these practices are still observed but not necessarily their significance is understood anymore. For example, an auspicious day also includes the auspicious time of the day to tie the nuptial knot but most of the time the baratis take forever to move an inch while dancing and having fun. I doubt the real wedding happens at the given muhurta. What I mean to emphasize is that people still respect ancient traditions but at the same time the focus is more geared to have fun. The few days of the ceremony are no less than a Bollywood show. A cultural shift is a continuous process. With global citizenship, and with cross-culture marriages being common we cannot simply avoid embracing them. More the merrier. Everyday routine life is strenuous for many so why not create these occasions to celebrate life?

I am sure people on the other side of the fence with financial constraints must be finding it a huge social pressure to keep up with the expenses associated with a big fat wedding as the trend is getting more of a common phenomenon. However, there is always a brighter side to everything. These lavish weddings add a lot to the economy and create jobs in multiple sectors. It is also a silent way of showing the economy is booming.

Despite all the changes being accepted as new norms over decades, two aspects of Indian weddings still remain the same, they are, the predefined wedding season and the core value that is ‘marriage is not a contract but it is a marriage between two families.’ Positive energy is always felt on happy occasions. These few days with the hustle and bustle of rituals and celebrations taught us many things. One important lesson is to celebrate life with near and dear ones and learn to appreciate and accommodate everyone’s choices to create happy memories. We had our share of joy attending these weddings and creating a few kodak moments with family and friends.