Family is a Gift!

I wanted to share here a funny family photo from my recent trip to India. I truly think that family is the most beautiful gift we are born with. Without family, one has no identity. Often I have read stories of orphan children and their anxieties. Even if they are lucky to be adopted, there is a void, a hidden desire to know how they came to exist. What are their roots? Even those who are uprooted from their original land and settle somewhere else feel this identity crisis at some point in their life. Having said that I feel a strong identity about one’s existence is very important for having a healthy mental condition and a stable life. So having a family that supports, cares, and gives you a sense of belonging is a blessing. Acknowledging that makes one grounded. I am very much in debt to my family and extended family who love me unconditionally. That means when I visit India once every few years a significant chunk of my time goes with family. More than the quantity I care for quality time spent with them. My husband and my both daughters feel the same way.

All four of us traveled to India after a long time during December of 2022 and continued our stay till mid of January 2023. My daughters came to India after 5yrs. It was definitely exciting for them to spend time with family members.

We had two weddings in the family which also allowed us to meet immediate family members and cousins. This also allowed us to meet extended and distant relatives whom otherwise we didn’t get a chance to meet during our past visits.

Weddings are fun and happy occasions to mingle with everyone. There is a positive energy and festive mood with music, dance, food, along with traditional rituals.

Honestly, the whole ambiance transports you to a different world. But at the core, they add so many beautiful memories to cherish later.

After two weddings got over, when we settled in Bhubaneswar in a rental property, we had the best downtime with our immediate family. My immediate family is very modest. My mother-in-law, mausi, mamu, sister, and her husband and two daughters all came and stayed with us. It is noteworthy to mention that my sana mausi (mother's younger sister),

Anu nani, and Ashok mamu always filled in the void for my parents. I always feel in my heart their silent prayers, blessings, and abundance of unconditional love for me and for my husband and children.

Time spent with them makes me feel rejuvenated and young again. It is like the olden days. Cooking and eating together for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was filled with warmth and love. Tea times with munching snacks were filled with an extra dose of laughter.

Each one of them lives out of Bhubaneswar. So they brought a lot of homemade snacks (arisha, kakara, namkeens, sweets, etc that I grew up eating) with them to share with everyone during their stay.

My daughters didn’t mind squeezing into one bed with their cousins and sharing clothes, make-up, etc. a fun that they miss back in the US. Playing cards till late at night, taking a stroll in the park, shopping in the flea markets, doing hair-oil massage drills in the mornings, visiting temples, eating mindlessly without counting calories, and so on. A lot of chaos planning the activities but yet we had the most memorable time doing so.

On the last day of the year on 31st December, we all had a feast with Anant Basudev Mandir’s Abhada Bhoga.

My husband took the lead in serving prasad to everyone including the dogs and the cat living on the property.

It was a beautiful way to wrap up the year 2022. The new year 2023 started with new dreams, new hopes, and new goals to reach. A little set setback happened when my mother-in-law had a minor foot surgery which made her homebound for a few days. But I admired her spirit.

She did not want us to get stuck at home so she hid her discomfort and started giving us company on different temple visits.

My elder one in the meantime got a high fever and cold due to her dust allergies and exhaustion. My mamu, mausi and my sister took extra care of her to make her feel pampered and nurtured till she felt fully recovered. Though her lingering cough pulled her spirit a little down, she managed to take part in different activities for the rest of the trip.

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Apart from the stay in Bhubaneswar, traveling on the train with family and spending time with different family members at the destination wedding were also rewarding. It may sound like I took him for granted, but I do acknowledge one of my husband’s cousins, Dilip, who lives in

Bhubaneswar with his family did so much for us during our stay out of his pure love and respect for his elder brother. Another of his cousins, Mitu, joined the last three days of our stay and added warmth to our memories.

I do feel sad not spending enough time with my sister-in-law and her family enough

purely due to logistic challenges. Both nieces and brother-in-law being doctors and working at different distant locations who could not take off from work for various reasons added

to our challenge to create that magic moment to be together. However, we still got to freeze a few moments of laughter to cherish on one late night.

Whoever said, ‘no amount of money and success can take the place of time spent with your family’ always holds true in my case. Family is like a garden and time and effort must be made every now and then to nurture the relationship to flourish and remain healthy. Maintaining that warmth is important because that is one’s strongest pillar of support for success.

Not living in proximity to my core family circle and with a busy lifestyle it may seem that I take them for granted but at the core, I know how much I count on their blessings and their support to keep me grounded. I very well know who I am today because of them. It is only my safe haven where I can be myself and express myself freely. During this recent trip to India, the quality time I spent with them made beautiful memories to cherish for a lifetime.

@Manorama Choudhury

Jan, 2023